Beyond the Mirror
Welcome to Beyond the Mirror’s website
If there is to be peace in the world there must be peace in the home.
Violence in the home is everyone’s problem.
Each of us must be part of the solution.
We must do all that we can in the time that we have.
This site provides:
Our mission is to work for peace in homes by distributing information about unhealthy/violent relationships; suggesting ways to help individuals in such relationships; and empowering and affirming victim/survivors.
- A free e-book of poetry on psychological abuse; (click on book cover
- Information on unhealthy/abusive relationships;
- How we can help as individuals and as communities.
Beyond the Mirror - The Book
He Never Hits Her
She watches, like a puppy
waiting for affection or a treat.
She watches--yet rarely
is there a gentle touch,
or loving eyes.
Instead, his eyes
His words are razors.
You're getting fat.
What do you do all day?
You parent like your mother.
Where did you get that outfit?
You forgot to get my cleaning again.
It's beyond me how you got a degree.
Your friends say they don't like you.
You missed a spot when you vacuumed.
You forgot to use heavy starch on my shirts. Again.
You get an allowance because you can't handle money.
All I ask is that you do what I ask.
You can't do anything right.
She watches. And he turns, as though
she is a curl
of dog shit that one
would dispatch into sand
with a quick kick of his Nike.
He never touches her. With his fists.
Marlene Jezierski, Beyond the Mirror
What is my responsibility? I am a peaceful person.
If there is to be peace in the world
there must be peace in the nations.
If there is to be peace in the nations
there must be peace in the cities.
If there is to be peace in the cities
there must be peace between neighbors.
If there is to be peace between neighbors
there must be peace in the home.
If there is to be peace in the home
there must be peace in the heart.
Let us be bearers of peace. Amen.
—Sixth century prayer for peace
There is an oft-told story of a man walking the beach. He saw hundreds of
starfish that had washed up on the shore. A little boy was tossing the
starfish one by one back into the water. The man asked the boy, "Why are you
wasting your time throwing those starfish back? In the big picture it isn’t
going to make a difference." The boy picked up one more starfish and said,
“It will matter to this one,” and threw it into the sea.
Response to violence in homes and communities is about seeing the problem
and acting on it. Actions may be small things that make a difference in
someone's life, gestures that may only matter to one person. It might be as
simple as listening and caring when a victim is struggling and in pain,
knowing how the victim can best be helped, being aware of community
resources, recognizing that words can be violent, and understanding the
debilitating impact of psychological/verbal abuse. Accept the fact that
going from victim to survivor is a process and that only the victim can make
that happen. But you can help.
Consider these suggestions:
- Volunteer for agencies that help people experiencing violence.
- Join community councils that are working on family violence education and prevention.
- Become involved in policy change, work to improve laws and community responses to violence in the home.
- Click on "To help community," "To help friends" and "Resources".