Beyond the Mirror
Welcome to Beyond the Mirror’s website

If there is to be peace in the world there must be peace in the home.
Violence in the home is everyone’s problem.
Each of us must be part of the solution.
We must do all that we can in the time that we have.

This site provides:
  • A free e-book of poetry on psychological abuse; (click on book cover below)
  • Information on unhealthy/abusive relationships;
  • How we can help as individuals and as communities.
Our mission is to work for peace in homes by distributing information about unhealthy/violent relationships; suggesting ways to help individuals in such relationships; and empowering and affirming victim/survivors.

What is verbal or psychological abuse? What are some signs?
Simply stated, verbal/psychological abuse is controlling the partner through the use of words and non-physical behaviors that hurt or put fear into the victim/survivor. Verbal abuse is violent and crushes spirits. Verbal abuse causes pain, suffering, and damage to its victims through words and calculated non-physical actions. Verbal abuse results in victims feeling as though they must walk on eggshells, fearing that any action or gesture will cause more abuse. A partner who is verbally abusive uses control as a weapon and a means of subjugating the victim/survivor.

Signs of verbal/psychological abuse can include:
  • Gestures or threatening actions such as pounding walls, kicking objects, fierce looks, silence
  • Controlling family finances, giving the partner a sparse allowance
  • Isolating one's partner from family and supportive friends
  • Requiring the partner to obtain permission to participate in activities
  • Threatening to leave the relationship if the partner does not comply
  • Threatening physical or sexual violence
  • Demeaning one's partner in front of the children and encouraging the children to abuse the victim
  • Insults, demeaning statements, calling the partner fat, ugly, stupid, crazy
  • Using yelling or withdrawal as a way to force compliance
  • Making false accusations of infidelity
  • Waking one's partner during the night with threats and put-downs resulting in sleep deprivation
  • Enforcing trivial demands
  • Not allowing one's partner to work or drive
  • Humiliating the partner by yelling or degrading her/him in public
  • Monitoring, managing, and criticizing the partner's shopping habits: cost, what is purchased, time spent
  • Monitoring every move one's partner makes, calling frequently when not home, listening in on phone calls, checking cell phone calls, requiring the partner to check in by phone
Verbal abuse often causes
  • Loss of self esteem
  • The victim blaming her/himself for all that is wrong in the relationship
  • Significant psychological and physical problems