Beyond the Mirror
Welcome to Beyond the Mirror’s website

If there is to be peace in the world there must be peace in the home.
Violence in the home is everyone’s problem.
Each of us must be part of the solution.
We must do all that we can in the time that we have.

This site provides:
  • A free e-book of poetry on psychological abuse; (click on book cover below)
  • Information on unhealthy/abusive relationships;
  • How we can help as individuals and as communities.
Our mission is to work for peace in homes by distributing information about unhealthy/violent relationships; suggesting ways to help individuals in such relationships; and empowering and affirming victim/survivors.

Safety Concerns
If you have concerns for your friend’s safety, give serious credence to the potential for danger.
Also, you can find information on safety planning by clicking on the "Materials" section on the Resources tab.

Verbalize your concerns.
  • Affirm the validity of the victim's expressed fears.
  • Say, “I am concerned for your safety and the safety of your children.”
  • Ask, “Are you afraid of your partner?”
  • Tell your friend that, typically, abusive or violent behavior tends to escalate rather than go away.
  • Give a warning that, while victim/survivors may believe the violence won’t happen again, it almost always does and often gets worse with time.
  • Stress the value of contacting a family violence advocacy agency. Advocates discuss safety issues in complete confidence, can assess the situation, help develop a safety plan, and provide information which may help the victim/survivor be safe.
  • Encourage the victim/survivor, with the guidance of a domestic violence advocate, to find a safe place to go (shelter, motel), and possibly leave town.
Avoid:
  • Putting yourself in danger.
  • Saying anything that questions the validity of what you are being told, such as “What did you do to make your partner so angry?” or “I can’t imagine (name of partner) behaving that way.” This may imply guilt on the part of the wrong person—the victim/survivor—and implies you don’t believe what you are being told.
  • Do not say anything that suggests an accusation; e.g., “What did you do to cause this?” or other questions and phrases that suggest the victim is to blame for the abuse.
  • Saying things like “Just keep hoping and believing” may not be helpful, tends to put the survivor in a victim position and contributes to powerlessness.
  • Shaming or assigning blame.
  • Giving up.